Asexual Awareness Week - Celebrate with us!

 Ace With a Place! 

Celebrate Asexual Awareness Week With Us!

Meet & Greet – Wednesday October 25, 6-9 pm

We will be meeting at OutMemphis for board games, snacks, and chats. Feel free to bring your own game and/or snacks; we will have some already if you just want to bring yourself!

Flag Raising Ceremony – Saturday October 28, 1 pm

Join us at OutMemphis as we raise the Asexual flag on the lawn, and add the flag to the other pride flags over the entrance.

What is Asexuality?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation just like homosexuality, bisexuality, and heterosexuality. People who identify as asexual typically experience a lack of sexual attraction or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. It isn’t a choice like being celibate; asexuality is usually a stable identity. Asexuals may desire intimate romantic relationships that may include lots of forms of physical touch like hugging, kissing, holding hands, and cuddling. Their romantic relationships may be homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual, and they may be monogamous or polyamorous.

Why this group?

People who identify as asexual face significant societal stigma that frequently prevents them from being able to be out about their identity or to explore the possibility of being asexual. While there are groups online where asexuals can connect for support and camaraderie, there is a significant barrier to meeting other asexuals face-to-face. We want to change that by creating a group at OutMemphis that will give asexual-identifying individuals a place to go and be with other folks who understand them. We intend it to be primarily a social group, but we also want people to have a place where they can find support either dealing with or exploring the possibility of being asexual.

Use #AceMemphis to share your Ace pride and connect with others in the Mid-South area

Mindfulness - It really is a thing

We live in a very complex, active society. So much so that we spend the vast majority of our time responding/reacting to our environment, which leaves us little time to pay any attention to ourselves. If we are lucky we do find time to relax, spend time with people we enjoy, or focus on hobbies that are meaningful for us. However, these activities are not the same as really focusing on ourselves.

Most of the time our focus is either on the future or the past. We plan for all of the things we need to take care of or get ready for, or we perseverate on things from the past that we wish we had differently but we can't change now. What we don't focus on is the here and now, the present moment as it is, the one thing we can actually experience. We have memories from the past and hopes (or worries) for the future, but this moment is our reality, if we can turn our attention to it. The only way to change the future is to be present in the moment, to cultivate intimacy with things as they actually are, and we aren't typically very good at this. We maintain high levels of stress as we react to the world around us, instead of taking charge and living fully in the present.

Mindfulness is awareness that arises in the present moment. It is not a state of the mind, but instead is a state of being. It is seeing yourself as you are, and accepting yourself as you are in this moment. Mindfulness is a dignified act of love that we can give to ourselves, but we can't give to anyone else, nor can anyone give to us. We must take the time to give ourselves this gift, so we can be fully present and fully ourselves. Mindfulness means we are fully awake. It is a shift from doing to being.

Over the next few posts I am going to explore various ways that we can be more mindful in our lives. I imagine when you think of mindfulness you think of meditation, which is a fair connection to make. You may envision someone sitting in the full lotus position, eyes closed, softly humming "ommm" to themselves.

This is meditation, absolutely, but it isn't the only way to accomplish it. It is true that some people meditate for long periods of time, but there doesn't have to be a huge commitment of time to be more mindful. In addition to classic meditation, a number of other practices include mindfulness: yoga, some martial arts (like Tai Chi), biofeedback, using mantras, and short mindfulness/meditation exercises (as short as a few minutes) to reconnect with ourselves in meaningful ways. There are also psychotherapies that utilize mindfulness: mindfulness cognitive therapy, mindfulness-based stress reduction, and hypnotherapy. I am learning about all of these practices myself (for both personal and professional reasons) and I will share what I learn with you all here. Mindfulness really is a thing, and it is a thing we could all use more of.